I Need To Get Out of Here!

I know I've said it before, but this place is not working for me...musically anyway. If this makes any sense, I feel like I'm trapped in a music killing cage where everyone can hear every single sound I make, see every move I make, while hating me for every second of it and poking me through the bars for good measure.

Is there any real reason to feel this way? Not really. None of the neighbors have complained. KJ doesn't mind the guitar playing and singing. Even the dog has gotten used to the extra sound. This feeling just emanates from inside of me, killing my focus, concentration and creativity.

I have so many ideas, none of which I can articulate into the full songs that play in my head as I doze of to sleep or daydream at the computer while typing a blog post.

What I think I really need is a sound proof studio. A simple set up with a place to relax with my guitar, my book and a pen along with a computer to catch those song ideas as they come out so forgetful me doesn't lose them. Or maybe just a simple, kind of out of the way practice space that I could rent and be alone with my thoughts and sometimes hideous noises that accompany my early songwriting stages that could compliment my intense lack of musical confidence. Heck, I'd settle for my own house, forget the soundproofing or the studio in general. Just a place that felt even remotely private, far away from the prodding, probably for the most part, non existent ears that judge and ridicule from all sides.

Perhaps this is just a bit of an overly dramatized dramatization. How many artists out there truly get there own safe haven isolated from the world to work on their masterpieces? I can imagine most of them don't. Though, a guy can dream can't he?

Overall, I'm just so antsy to get some of these ideas down and not sure how to do it. Any thoughts?

Missing The Old Days

Being at a new job I've been taking advantage of introducing everyone to my old band, Now Transmission. (Everyone at work seems to be in a band, very weird.) In turn, it's got me thinking about the old days.

I'd have to say I miss all those road trips around New England, the smoky bars (at first, then Maine passed no smoking laws, yeah!), eating crappy food, playing in front of 5 people (1 the sound guy, 1 the bartender, and 3 random drunks or girlfriends), screaming my lungs out, feeling like a rock star, constantly writing and recording, hanging out with the guys, and just not giving a crap and having fun.

Of course, it was a little simpler back then, being in school with a lot less responsibility and screwing around and not doing school work as much as possible was the name of the game.

I can't help but get a little frustrated handing out copies of our latest EP knowing it's promoting something that doesn't exist anymore. (We got hundreds of discs printed and broke up a couple of months later, not giving us a lot of time to unload many of them.) Sure, I was the primary songwriter and I'm still here writing, but a lot of things have changed since then, I feel like I'm taking a different route musically, and I don't have a band. (Yet.)

As I've said before, I have a lot of tunes rolling and I'd like to get a group together sometime in the near future. My stage presence will sure need a kick in the pants, it's been a while since I've played in front of 2 people, let alone 50 or 500. I'm sure I could find the confidence of my college days, it would take some doing, but it could be done and I revel in the challenge.

Getting a job was the number one goal. Bringing back a little of the NT, college, great music days is number two. In the mean time I'll just reminisce...ahhhhh. Rock on!