"Only Apart", Still One of My Faves

Out of all my songs, "Only Apart" is still one of my favorites to listen to and perform. I wrote it more than 4 years ago (it feels like longer than that) and it was actually one of the last songs that we worked on as a group in my band Now Transmission. We never quite finished the full band version before we parted ways. As a band it had some cool things going for it but I'll always have a fondness for it in the raw acoustic form. I recorded the video below about 3 years ago but it still pretty much holds the same basic form today.

I've always been really proud of this song and I even framed and hung the page of hand written lyrics on my wall here in my creative room. It really adds to the creative feel. Sometimes I just take it down and look at it. Is that weird? Rock on!

Missing The Old Days

Being at a new job I've been taking advantage of introducing everyone to my old band, Now Transmission. (Everyone at work seems to be in a band, very weird.) In turn, it's got me thinking about the old days.

I'd have to say I miss all those road trips around New England, the smoky bars (at first, then Maine passed no smoking laws, yeah!), eating crappy food, playing in front of 5 people (1 the sound guy, 1 the bartender, and 3 random drunks or girlfriends), screaming my lungs out, feeling like a rock star, constantly writing and recording, hanging out with the guys, and just not giving a crap and having fun.

Of course, it was a little simpler back then, being in school with a lot less responsibility and screwing around and not doing school work as much as possible was the name of the game.

I can't help but get a little frustrated handing out copies of our latest EP knowing it's promoting something that doesn't exist anymore. (We got hundreds of discs printed and broke up a couple of months later, not giving us a lot of time to unload many of them.) Sure, I was the primary songwriter and I'm still here writing, but a lot of things have changed since then, I feel like I'm taking a different route musically, and I don't have a band. (Yet.)

As I've said before, I have a lot of tunes rolling and I'd like to get a group together sometime in the near future. My stage presence will sure need a kick in the pants, it's been a while since I've played in front of 2 people, let alone 50 or 500. I'm sure I could find the confidence of my college days, it would take some doing, but it could be done and I revel in the challenge.

Getting a job was the number one goal. Bringing back a little of the NT, college, great music days is number two. In the mean time I'll just reminisce...ahhhhh. Rock on!

Poor Nezzy, Suffering From Electric Guitar Neglect

Nezzy, my six-stringed black beauty, you didn't the deserve the fate that has been forced upon you.


I got to thinking about my electric guitar today. She's an Ibanez Artist Series with a matte black finish. I bought her about 4 years ago with the best of intentions. I simply wanted an upgrade and to improve my shredding skills. (Which were and are mostly non-existent.) The purchase was also around the time when I was starting to play along with my band Now Transmission instead of being the mic weilding, roaming lead singer. (It never really fit me.)

But after the band broke up, Nezzy has seen more of the inside of her comfy case than daylight. She truly drew the short straw when she was shipped to my door. I don't even have a half decent amp to practice my crappy half-assed shredding. But I don't blame the tools, I blame nothing more than my fumbling fingers and my lax determination.

For me, it was always so much easier to pick up my acoustic and strum away. When writing tunes it was always so much easier to sit with a notebook, a pen and my acoustic and play away. I could do this anywhere, no outlet necessary. From there, things would progress to the electric side of things when the band was still jamming. I only truly remember writing one tune where I did a lot of electric jamming during the writing process, this on my first electric. I even recorded a decent version from start to finish that sounded very similar down to it's final form on our EP Down The Middle. (The song is called "Drained Down" and you can listen to it at NT's Myspace.)

The recent years I've been focusing much more on the acoustic side of things anyway. I just dig the acoustic sound, I can't help it. Plus, my frustration has gotten the best of me and though it's easier on the fingers, the electric rockin' has never been my forte.

If it were a law, I would definitely be going to jail, convicted of electric guitar neglect and I would deserve the sentence to it's full extent. So to avoid my guilt (guilt I feel as if Nezzy were a living creature), in any new group that may form from my acoustic demo-ing, I'll have to make sure Nezzy plays her part. She deserves better, she deserves to be on the stage and flowing out her sweet tones to a room full of inebriated folks just looking for a good time.

That day of rock will come.

Word Box Wednesday or Whiny Wednesday?

I'm feeling a bit under the weather today so I'm saying the heck with Word Box Wednesday this week. (Plus, I didn't really come up with anything else for the word "human". My bad.) So instead, this Wednesday is going to become Whiny Wednesday, minus the whining because I don't like to whine or complain. Instead I'm going to write about one of the rare times I got sick and it actually ended up being a deal, music wise that is.

Overall, I hate being sick. Especially the tiredness and the sore throat stuff because it impairs my ability to sing. I do a pretty good job at staying healthy but when I do get all phlegmy and sore, I get outright pissy. I can't help it. When you sing most everyday and you're not able to do it for a couple of days, or even as long as a week, it definitely sucks.

It was definitely a big deal in my Now Transmission days. As I was the lead singer it was important to keep my golden pipes in the best condition possible. I only remember canceling one show because of an illness and it had more to do with my muscle in my neck tweaking out and nothing to do with my vocal chords. I wanted to keep the streak alive when we headed to Boston for a Battle of the Bands. (Don't ask me the date or year, I'm blanking on that right now.)

It was a rare occasion that we headed to Boston for a gig but when we did it felt like the big time. Not that the shows really had that much more of a crowd than we were used to, it was just that big city feeling when you go from playing in East Nowhere, Maine to the hopping Boston metro.

This Boston gig was going to be spread over two nights. If we made it past the first round at a club called T.T. the Bears, we'd play the next night at the Middle East, a popular Cambridge club, for the finals. A couple of days before our trip I started to get a tickle in the back of my throat. This lead to plenty of coughing and eventually a good case of laryngitis, where I almost completely lost my voice. It was a similar feeling to one I had back on our very first show where I blew my voice in the middle of a set, but we don't need to talk about that.

This Battle of the Bands was a big deal for us so we decided to play the show, even though I wouldn't be singing. What we did was spontaneously switch the lineup a bit. Our bass player Jason moved to lead vocals, I went to lead guitar, and Ray, the lead guitarist went to bass. Obviously, Andy our drummer stayed behind his kit. Instead of playing our allotted two songs we rocked an unrehearsed version of our current "single" She's Not There by it's lonesome. (You can check out She's Not There on Now Transmission's Myspace.)

Jason was a great singer, I wasn't worried about this ability to rock it at the front of the stage, nor was I worried about Ray's bass skills. I was a little concerned with my skills on lead guitar. I wrote the song, so I knew how to play it, but these were the days before I strapped on a guitar to play rhythm so my on stage guitar chops were slim to none. We made it through just fine and caught a lucky break when not all the bands showed up and we got a free ride to the final round at the Middle East.

We rocked with the same configuration that night as well. We didn't win but I thought we definitely did the song justice especially considering the situation. It turned out to be a pretty fun change of pace with all of us (well, most of us) moving into another role we weren't used to but I can't even explain how frustrating it was not being able to do my true part, or even hold a conversation for that matter. I also always kind of wondered what would have happened had we been able to play two songs at full strength. I guess we'll never know.

Here's to never getting that sick again! It's the middle of the day but I think I'll down some NyQuil and hit this crap before it gets me down good so I can get some energy and get singing again. The sooner the better. Keep rockin'!

Update: I did some research to help out my terrible memory and discovered that this trip to Boston took place September 26th and 28th of 2005! Holy crap, that seems like ages ago!

Destressifier #3 - Nothing Video

If you've been following A Songwriter's Sanctum over the past week, (I was just going to abbreviate the title of the blog and just now realized that it spells something, I think you can figure it out.) you've probably noticed that I've been on a video kick. It's been an attempt to spice things up a little as well as settle my stress level a bit.

As I know I've said before, I unnecessarily stress myself out when I write and record new tunes because I want to get things done pronto and I want it to be as perfect as I can make it. So dropping these videos gets me all settled, gives me a chance to share and gives me a sense of accomplishment. Hey, whatever does it, right?

The song I'm playing in the video below is called "Nothing". It is one of the first songs I ever wrote and is also the very first song I introduced to my now former band Now Transmission. We ended up making two full band versions of the song for two separate EPs and I'd say it was probably one of our most recognizable tunes. You can check out the full band version at NT's Soundclick page.

Beside my screaming near the end I think the vid came out pretty well. Let me know what you think. I have a new Wednesday feature that I'm starting tomorrow so make sure to come back and check it out. Rock on!

Lyrics, More Than Words

I've written many lyrics in my songwriting days. I have a pile of books and folder upon computer folder to prove it. Not every lyric has turned into a song, and not every song has been completed, but to me that's not the most important part. The most important part for me is getting those words out. I love taking words and putting them together so they form something special. To form something that hasn't been portrayed before or can be viewed in a different way.

But lyrics are so much more than words. Just like a good novel can have a movie playing in your mind, a good lyric should do the same thing. It should get you involved in the story and have images floating in your brain of how all those words come together and make something real.

I've been very proud of some of the lyrics that have come from my hand by the way they portray something that I was trying get across. I can feel it by being overcome by the emotions that were taking control of me to write the song in the first place as well as the images that I connect with those emotions as I listen to or perform a song.

Out of all of the songs I've written, one stands out in my mind as one of the songs I am most happy with and has continued to motivate me to carry on. And not because of something I did with it but what someone else did with the words, making it so much more than words.

The song "Nothing" came about probably sometime in 2002 while I was in college. I'm going to go out on a limb and say it was the first complete song I ever created. It was also one of the first songs of mine that I introduced to my now former band Now Transmission. It's a serious song, maybe a little bit of a downer, but it has an uplifting message about not being alone in the world. Me and the guys from Now Transmission turned it into a decent ballad type rock song that is still one of my favorites of ours. We included the tune on two of your EPs, the second version a much needed update. (You can listen to "Nothing" and other tunes from NT by clicking here.)

But anyway, I'm losing track of my point here. What excites me about looking back at this song is the picture below that was created out of the words that I wrote.
The picture was created by my wonderful girlfriend Kallie, who at the time was a friend that I had met at school and worked with. I was blown away when she first showed me her creation. Though it may not portray the emotion that the song does, the image of her face rising from the words that I wrote was inspiration for me to continue and prove that lyrics can literally become more than words. I don't think she realized how much that piece of art meant to me at the time and how it motivated me to continue writing. Though the picture literally showed a face, the piece became an example of what I wanted to be able to do with my lyrics from then on; create pictures in people's minds from my words.

So thank you Kallie for inspiring me way back then as well as now. And I'm sure you don't mind the plug at all. (*wink wink*) Check out some examples of Kallie's amazing art work at her site by visiting kalliemehuren.com.

New Tune, In spite of Stanley Steamer

As I promised (I like living up to my promises), I posted a "brand new" song today. You'll find out why the quotation marks are necessary later. The tune is called "Only Apart". (I know you're anxious. ;-) Listen to it in the player in the top right of the page.)

It's safe to say that this song has been a-round. These words first appeared in my original black Moleskine and were dated 4/20/05:

We're only apart/Not broken or torn/I'm only away/Not gone not far

They sat there, all by their lonesome (their only friend a catchy guitar riff that I couldn't stop playing) for who knows how long. The rest of the page was a myriad of crossed out words and phrases that came much later, just before the song reappeared in black book #2, which was dated 7/10/07. This entry came after the unsuccessful attempt to make the song a part of Now Transmission's repertoire, only months before we split. Good friend and guitarist Ray and I hashed out many different lines for the non-existent verses and chorus and the one thing that really stuck was Ray's line "blow me away".

That line became the creative starting point for all of the chorus lead ins for the whole song. As for the rest, it wasn't until 5 days ago that the song finally saw it's final, written down form. Stuck together from random phrases and ideas that lingered between the multiple versions, as well as some new ideas that I had been waiting to pop into my head for 4 years.

But once the song finally existed as a complete tune, the issue was recording. That's where Stanley Steamer comes in.

I decided that Friday the 30th was going to be the day I sat down and finally recorded the song. I'd been procrastinating for 2 weeks. Actually, it had been since I wrote the message "New Year, New Goals, New Tunes?" So Friday morning I said the hell with any work I should be doing, chilled out with the Wii for a half hour or so and then sat down with Siggy and started recording.

I planned on doing it in pieces. So I got the first chunk done. Then all of a sudden I hear this low, drone in my headphones. I have nice Bose headphones that block out most sound, but this one cut through like a knife. I ripped the headphones off, ran to my bedroom and looked out the window to see a bright yellow Stanley Steamer van parked across the street. If you've ever heard one, those mothers are loud when they are doing their deed.

Honestly, I was pissed. There's no sugar coating it. I had procrastinated so long only to have to wait at least another hour before I could get going again. I don't exactly have a fancy, sound proofed recording studio with all that expensive equipment. This room is my office and I record using the internal mic from my girlfriends iMac G5 and GarageBand. Not exactly high tech and it comes through in the final product, but I deal with what I have. Needless to say, the mic picks up everything, including everything that I don't want it to, whether it be the heat kicking on, the dog snoring, or the annoying drone of the Stanley Steamer van across the street.

So I fired up the Wii again and rocked some drums with Guitar Hero to settle myself down a little. Once Stanley left, everything else fell into place; section after section, layer after layer (I love layers!). I got on a roll and laid it all down within the next 3 hours, minus any drums of course, something I'd love but I don't currently have that skill. (A couple more months of Guitar Hero and I'll be set.) The recording isn't perfect and being the perfectionist that I always consider myself, it's hard to call it done, but if that were the case I'd never finish a song and that's no fun at all. That way I could never share!

So that's the creation of "Only Apart" in a nutshell. A very tiny nutshell. So make me happy and listen to the song already. Let me know what you think. Rock on to the next!

The Rock Star Rider

*Flashback*
Date: April, 2004
Place: University of Maine, Orono, Maine

Ahhh, the college years. Though not as campy and short lived as the "Saved By The Bell" crew's romp through higher education, it was still memorable and well worth the $20,000 I drown under now and for years to come. (Or so I'm told.) My junior year in particular was less about fighting with my former football player R.A. (Mike, played by Bob Golic) and dealing with the shenanigans of an accident prone and perpetually smart, yet dumb best friend (a la Screech), but more about hanging in my apartment which smelled rich of Subway sandwiches from the restaurant below, doing as little school work as I could (text books are overrated), and rockin' with my band Now Transmission as the stunning and oh so talented lead singer that would have made Kelly Kapowski look twice. (It's my blog, you gotta let me exaggerate a little.)

This particular spring was a big one for the band. We were pretty well known across campus, played quite a few shows around the area and in Portland (THE big city of Maine if you're unfamiliar), had a quick tour of New England, and garnered the popular vote to play the school's now defunct big music festival, Bumstock, as the campus band headliner to play two slots before SoCal rockers Eve 6.

It was incredible to be able travel around and play the songs we created with assorted covers to please the drunkards. (Sorry, no Freebird!) It wasn't very glorious, we rarely got paid enough to cover the gas, let alone a meal, but it was really all about the rockin' and having fun.

When we did have that rock star moment, it was definitely memorable. That's where the "rider" comes in. If you don't know what a rider is, it's basically a list of requests by a band of what they want the night of a show for them and their crew. Items will include anything from certain foods to accommodations. You name it, it's probably been on some big bands rider. I actually stumbled on the backstage section of a site called thesmokinggun.com which is an archive of band riders. I recommend starting with Foo Fighters '08, it's hilarious.

But anyway, I digress. In April '04, before the big Bumstock show we were given the opportunity to open for one of my favorite alternative rock bands, Fuel. (This is before Brett, the lead singer left the band.) They were going to play on campus at the Maine Center For The Arts, the big performance hall on campus which seated somewhere around 1,500, give or take. Anyway, it was going to be the biggest crowd we ever played for. (But that's another story for another day.)

For such a big show, and because their budget apparently allowed it, we were offered a rider. This was a lot of pressure. I'm supposed to be a rock star yet I have no idea what I would want for a rider. We were provided a nice dressing room, cool. We were opening for Fuel, incredible. What more could I want?

Of course, their budget for us was probably meant for some drinks and a few snacks, maybe even a towel, so I didn't want to go overboard and look like an idiot. And I certainly wasn't going to go all Van Halen, making sure there were no brown M&M's or demand "real knives, forks, spoons, plates, and napkins" with the only exception being Solo cups like the Foo.

So you know what I asked for? Nutty Bars and Gatorade. I love Nutty Bars and they sure hit the spot. And how can you wrong with free Gatorade? You can't. The other guys settled for some of their favorite snacks and we enjoyed every ounce of free rock star goodness.

Was it very rock star of us? Maybe not. I'm sure the Zack Attack, the Zack Morris led supergroup would have outdone us, but we rocked the show just the same. We got to meet Fuel, watch their show from the back stage area and pretend like we were a big deal for a whole night. And it was spectacular.

Here's the real question. What would you include in your rock star rider? We're assuming that you're a small, but successful act. You're no U2 but people sing along to your songs that have made it to the airwaves. Let's hear it.

Photos courtesy of Holly Barber: http://www.flickr.com/photos/hbhocusfocus