I stayed home from work today, not something that I like to do, but considering I can still barely get an intelligible word past my lips from my seemingly destroyed vocal cords, I thought it was fitting. Especially being a musician and singer, it's beyond explainable of how frustrating it is not to be able to sing let alone talk. You never truly realize how important something is to you until you don't have it anymore. That goes for so many things in life, but when it's something that you dream could be your livelihood someday, it makes it even more unbearable.
It's not that I haven't had laryngitis before in my life. I can remember two occasions quite clearly that overtake this one in a heartbeat. The first occasion was during one of the first shows my former band Now Transmission played. Only a few songs into our set my voice completely gave out. Mid song, out came nothing but a high pitched squeal and nothing but silence no matter how hard I tried from then on. It was a pretty embarrassing moment, and luckily I've been able to relive that moment over and over as the performance was being recorded.
The second time was due to sickness rather than strain although it did have an adverse effect on the band as it was only a couple of years later. We had signed up to play a battle of the band in Boston, quite a big deal for us as we didn't travel to the big city very often because it was quite a long trip. My squeaky voice box forced us to switch up the lineup a bit; our bassist moving to vocals, our guitarist playing bass, and me playing guitar. We only played one song, actually made it past the first round (due to a couple of bands not showing up) and played the second round in the same configuration a couple of days later. It wasn't the most successful venture ever, but it definitely could have worked out a whole lot worse.
That brings us today. I'm not in a band anymore, just writing and playing music on my own. But especially now, as I'm trying to write and practice as much as I ever have, not being able to do simple things that I do everyday like practice my new songs in the living room, sing in the car, yell at the guy who cut me off, or talk to my fiance is maddening. I'm sure my voice will probably come back to me in the next few days, it's just moments like these that make me realize how much I take things for granted sometimes. As if I wasn't motivated enough to work on my music before, now, once my throat heals, I want to be busting out the music like my life depended on it.
Who knows when you could lose that thing you love for good, you have to appreciate it while it's here. Cheesy, of course, but oh so true. Rock on!