You can't say that I didn't have good intentions. You can't say that I don't have the skill or the desire to create. But you can say that I don't have the absolute go-getter attitude that gets things done.
In my post, It's About Time To Let The Music Flow, I mentioned on online course that I was pretty excited about that I was sure was going to get the music flowing once and for all. Honestly, it started out great. I spent the first 2 weeks jamming out a half hour of ideas everyday. With the Garage Band running I just played, not really thinking about what I was doing just basically going with the flow and letting my unconscious mind send those notes down to my fingers to be played and recorded. It was a little frustrating at first but as the sessions added up the ideas became more complete and more interesting.
By the last session I was feeling good with the amount of original material I created as well as the quality of that material. But when it came to listening back and picking out those ideas the momentum quickly faded. Those ideas that I was so excited about were few and far between and even the ones that I was most interested in still seemed dull and overall uninteresting. At that point I felt like the last 2 plus weeks had been wasted and the album that I was going to have to show for all that work wasn't even one song closer to being in existence.
Since then, things have changed a bit. I've continued to write like I always have before, letting the ideas come as they do and building them slowly into a somewhat cohesive piece. I currently have 2 or 3 songs stuck in that oh so common phase of mine that involves me playing what I've completed over and over again until it makes me sick only to be perpetually stuck without a bridge, a solid ending or an interesting enough hook.
It seems to be my curse and overall I feel like it comes down to confidence and the lack of drive to just sit down and get things done. I so badly want these songs to be completed and see the light of day. I want to share them and be proud of them. I want to jam with some other musicians and turn these songs into a complete composition. How I do that is the question of the century.
I'd really like to take a lot of these principles from the course and run with them. I already know that they have a major difference in my songwriting by the quality and number of ideas that have been arising even after I kind of gave up on the program. I know I've probably said it a hundred times but I just need to do it, as insanely hard and idiotically simple as that is.